Cooked tapioca the correct way and later when we have nectarines and peaches and cherries I will make fruit tapioca. the milk one I just made will comfort my sister.
Just saw a 60 Minutes video on FDL regarding the doctor who heads up the remote medical caare program for folks who can't get medical care any other way. the man is Stan Brock sounds as if he comes from Australia or New Zealand. Broke m heaaart to see folks suffering like that because they have no insurance and often no physicians-young doctors don't want to live in small town America ( I know that I don't want to). I bet everyone of those people want a public potion or single payer. Who are those against public option/single payer? Bet you they are the ones who haven't yet ended up uncovered and ineligible for Medicaid/Medicare and they have never gotten stuck with thousnds of dollars of medical bills that their insureer says aren't covered. I remember one morning on Morin' Joe Reagan speech writer whose name escapes me said well when I was young we just didn't go to the doctor as if this would help if people just didn't go to the doctor.
I hear that Schwarzenneger has a 14% support reading. what a pig he is and the folk who back him. I am praying for a progressive backlash to get them out and make some changes such as modifiying Prop 13, reassessing corporations and taxing them appropriately. I want us to have free education again to actively encourage continuing education and to support people in rising through the classes. Advanced degrees are as valuable as real estate and this needs to be recognized and encouraged. I want to see parenthood supported and encouraged. the role of mother should be understood as a career and should be valued.
Well news alert-domestic issues intruded and I was watering the basil and beans with a little Schultz water and looked over the zuchinni and wonders of wonders there is one reeeady for haarvest a couple coming behind and several little ones. We shall haave fresh vegatables for supper vegatables we raised ourselves!!!!!
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Thurssdday 7/30/09
So yesterday was so rough-no money yet and $20 from J so B could get cigarettes and then I aate at the Dr appt since I was there so long because I had to get the knee x rayed. I beleive thaat money will be in the account today.
The news for my beloved California is so grim. I don't know why "the people allow Schwarzenegger to get what he wants over and over. this can't be what the public wants. the public needs help with elder care, with childcare, with education for children, with mediccal expences,with housing. The governor is so proud to cut educaation and open a NEW DEATH CHAMBER!! Is this some type of bizarre chamber of horrors?I try to remind myself not to hate him because he thrives on my hatred. The dark and destructive energies that fuel his intellect feed on the anquish and hatred his actions elicit so the best defence against him and his fellows is to stay positive and to pray.
Irritated with my sister. I awakened froma dream wherein whe was faking disability in order to get attention because she felt ignored and now when she just got up I sstill feel that frustration and impatients with her. Not quite fair but there it is. Need to review what is irratating me so much-I guess it is worry about her. she doesn't want to go with me when I go out but then she feels sorry for herself.
The news for my beloved California is so grim. I don't know why "the people allow Schwarzenegger to get what he wants over and over. this can't be what the public wants. the public needs help with elder care, with childcare, with education for children, with mediccal expences,with housing. The governor is so proud to cut educaation and open a NEW DEATH CHAMBER!! Is this some type of bizarre chamber of horrors?I try to remind myself not to hate him because he thrives on my hatred. The dark and destructive energies that fuel his intellect feed on the anquish and hatred his actions elicit so the best defence against him and his fellows is to stay positive and to pray.
Irritated with my sister. I awakened froma dream wherein whe was faking disability in order to get attention because she felt ignored and now when she just got up I sstill feel that frustration and impatients with her. Not quite fair but there it is. Need to review what is irratating me so much-I guess it is worry about her. she doesn't want to go with me when I go out but then she feels sorry for herself.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Monday 7/27/009
Woke up this morning remembering that I have a plan to write from where I live with stories of family, of food cooked and served, of daily thoughts on the condition position of our society, of the mixture of the personal and subjective with the social, listening to morning Joe-disgusting Maria Bartaloma (spg?) representing the innsurance industry, even more disgusting Mikka Brezenski representing the Republicans-.
Hearing this morning that fat folk such as myself are more expensive than smokers although in my experience it is not the fat folk who are dying young (in their 60's) but rather slender folk killed by cancer and heart disease, also slender people needing ssserious heeaart repair. I believe that my diabetese was brought on by the greed that has led to overwieight and the diabetes has led to heart and blood pressure trouble that requires daily medication but I am not so sure that overwieght is the destroyer that the insurance companies say that it is. I do know that the food pusshed on the public is deadly aand the destruction shows up first as obesity aand I know that in the insurance industry attack on fat there is absolutely no mention of this-now that the proof is in the pudding (as it were)aabd the word is out about "high fructose corn sweetener" a chemiccl pushed for years until it now shows up as obesity in childdren ( because parents,mothers, have resorted to fast box recipes to feed their hungry children after working all day-I know that I used to buy Amy bags of chips I think now because I was tired and feeling guilty but at leaast we had good food at home. I remember feeling guilty when we would go to McDaonld's or KFC with the gift certificates my family would send her. I know my graandchildren aare obese due to the inferior food their mother could afford on welfare.
So this is one very important subject I want to cover.
I want to return to a way of eating that the diabetes demands and which will free up my creative energy-the entire family will do well on the food plan I need to follow-and fruit for dessert and NO SODAS, emphasis on the vegatables and salads and on the gardening. Lots of chicken and fish as a treat. Would do more fish but out fish are going extinct due to over harvesting. eat light with pasta only every other week-lots of baked thighs and breasts-terriyaki over barbecue wine and mushrooms and lemon and broth over heavy sauces..
Steve and I walk this is good. I walk even with my screaming feet/legs/knees and I believe that Steve has similar compllaints. There is pain but we will continue until we can get to the Y to swim and practice some workouts that won't hurt so much.
On the TV talk about the "octomomn" a young woman who has 14 children concieved through fertility enhancements. The public hates her becuase she has no father for her children and they think that she is doing it just for money. this is weird that the "people" hate her so much but don't know if they should oppose torture or the insurance companies.
Now the original "mother of multiples" is now a single mother while her husband and "father of multilpes" runs around scrresining youn women and spnding money on balck diamond skull rings and moves to New York City. Wow what a circus how disgusting. I used to love the movies of this family. I really believed in the fairytale and then over the months I could see that obviously the couple no longer loved each other. Kate is a shrew with some very icky fears of sex and love-no Earth girl there and Jon is passive and now hates her for her meaness and for humiliating him on camera. Jon has left the family as if money is all a family needs.
What is on my mind is that this is what happens when the maternal archtype is exploited as if She is nothing just something to be found and exploited like a rock polished up to reveal the diamond. I understand why the "Church" opposes contraception,abortion and fertility treatments. Of course I find it easy to "understand" now when I am safely post-menopausal but yes I do because of the vicious attack on The Mother, The Feminine from modern science. Seems to me that the vicious intelligence used to split the atom in now applied to conception and birth and I find it horrifying and I did when I heard what Pat was going through when she and Beth wanted to have a child and theirs was a mild fertility regemine payed for by kaiser I think. this assumption that nature makes mistakes and that we can correct these mistakes is dangerous and I opt out for the quieter, more receptive mode...
Hearing this morning that fat folk such as myself are more expensive than smokers although in my experience it is not the fat folk who are dying young (in their 60's) but rather slender folk killed by cancer and heart disease, also slender people needing ssserious heeaart repair. I believe that my diabetese was brought on by the greed that has led to overwieight and the diabetes has led to heart and blood pressure trouble that requires daily medication but I am not so sure that overwieght is the destroyer that the insurance companies say that it is. I do know that the food pusshed on the public is deadly aand the destruction shows up first as obesity aand I know that in the insurance industry attack on fat there is absolutely no mention of this-now that the proof is in the pudding (as it were)aabd the word is out about "high fructose corn sweetener" a chemiccl pushed for years until it now shows up as obesity in childdren ( because parents,mothers, have resorted to fast box recipes to feed their hungry children after working all day-I know that I used to buy Amy bags of chips I think now because I was tired and feeling guilty but at leaast we had good food at home. I remember feeling guilty when we would go to McDaonld's or KFC with the gift certificates my family would send her. I know my graandchildren aare obese due to the inferior food their mother could afford on welfare.
So this is one very important subject I want to cover.
I want to return to a way of eating that the diabetes demands and which will free up my creative energy-the entire family will do well on the food plan I need to follow-and fruit for dessert and NO SODAS, emphasis on the vegatables and salads and on the gardening. Lots of chicken and fish as a treat. Would do more fish but out fish are going extinct due to over harvesting. eat light with pasta only every other week-lots of baked thighs and breasts-terriyaki over barbecue wine and mushrooms and lemon and broth over heavy sauces..
Steve and I walk this is good. I walk even with my screaming feet/legs/knees and I believe that Steve has similar compllaints. There is pain but we will continue until we can get to the Y to swim and practice some workouts that won't hurt so much.
On the TV talk about the "octomomn" a young woman who has 14 children concieved through fertility enhancements. The public hates her becuase she has no father for her children and they think that she is doing it just for money. this is weird that the "people" hate her so much but don't know if they should oppose torture or the insurance companies.
Now the original "mother of multiples" is now a single mother while her husband and "father of multilpes" runs around scrresining youn women and spnding money on balck diamond skull rings and moves to New York City. Wow what a circus how disgusting. I used to love the movies of this family. I really believed in the fairytale and then over the months I could see that obviously the couple no longer loved each other. Kate is a shrew with some very icky fears of sex and love-no Earth girl there and Jon is passive and now hates her for her meaness and for humiliating him on camera. Jon has left the family as if money is all a family needs.
What is on my mind is that this is what happens when the maternal archtype is exploited as if She is nothing just something to be found and exploited like a rock polished up to reveal the diamond. I understand why the "Church" opposes contraception,abortion and fertility treatments. Of course I find it easy to "understand" now when I am safely post-menopausal but yes I do because of the vicious attack on The Mother, The Feminine from modern science. Seems to me that the vicious intelligence used to split the atom in now applied to conception and birth and I find it horrifying and I did when I heard what Pat was going through when she and Beth wanted to have a child and theirs was a mild fertility regemine payed for by kaiser I think. this assumption that nature makes mistakes and that we can correct these mistakes is dangerous and I opt out for the quieter, more receptive mode...
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Early swim-sunday Morning
I love FDL (Firedoglake) especially Christy Hardin Smith, who integrates the domestic with the political. I care passionately about what is going on in the world and this is because I care so much about what affects my family. I find the domestic fascinating and now at 62 am not embarrassed to say that. I was once deeply embarrassed that all my planets are under the horizon and and the lunar phase is crescent moon=so subjective but now I am more at peace with myself, the world as I know it, and the humbleness of my position.
I want to create a blog that is homebound and intelligent and progressive-political and domestic. In the newspaper, Good Times from SF in the 60's and early 70's there was some of that Sandy Darlington wrote about cooking and gardening an accepted part of preparing for the reovolution. I to this day use her ideas for split pea soup-vegetarian.
Okay thats the ticket. Recipes,cooking tips,frugality, gardening=Rosita grows her own food from the seeds of her dinner,etc. this is what is needed during the Pluto in Capricorn years. Helping in our search for a truer way one that does not require credit cards and high powered positions a way that allows us to thrive with simple actions and a willingness to allow others to thrive in their own manner.
I am happy to leave the "boys" to their high falutin thoughts and plans. I will share what I have discovered and I will continue tending the kitchen and the home and the garden.
I want to create a blog that is homebound and intelligent and progressive-political and domestic. In the newspaper, Good Times from SF in the 60's and early 70's there was some of that Sandy Darlington wrote about cooking and gardening an accepted part of preparing for the reovolution. I to this day use her ideas for split pea soup-vegetarian.
Okay thats the ticket. Recipes,cooking tips,frugality, gardening=Rosita grows her own food from the seeds of her dinner,etc. this is what is needed during the Pluto in Capricorn years. Helping in our search for a truer way one that does not require credit cards and high powered positions a way that allows us to thrive with simple actions and a willingness to allow others to thrive in their own manner.
I am happy to leave the "boys" to their high falutin thoughts and plans. I will share what I have discovered and I will continue tending the kitchen and the home and the garden.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
thursday 7/23/09
So I lost an entry because i forgot to go to the program that would allow me to "copy ,paste and save to the desktop". I imagine i will learn to do some real computering at some point.
Now back to what was lost. The theme of the week is: in orer to redeem one must be able to assume. In other words if one wishes to save someone one must be able to become that which one wishes to redeem. this is the theme of "The Taming Of The Shress" and the theme of Liberation Theology. This is also a profound Jungian understanding-we become that which we seek to redeem and we must integrate shadow without being overwhe,med by shadow.
I was overwhelmed by shadow in my 30's because my perfectionist worldview did not allow shadow.
I now know that I was sttempting to cover-up the failure in too early maternity that led me to abandon my beautiful babies to their paternal grandparents. The greatest fear I had was my innate inferiority and when "she" finally appeared I simply surrendered to her and therefore destroyed my life-what Kimn referred to as wallowing the shadow. At least Saturn in the 4th prevented all out surrender to the destructive forces within-at least I now have a pension to supplement my SSA but I absolutely trashed my social identity by taking up with Roland and making drug and alcohol use an acknowledged part of me.
We are having curry tonight. Courtney will make chicken curry and I am making a quick chutney and kidney bean curry and raita. We will serve jasmine rice with it. courtney and I will cook-so much fun to have a grown-up granddaughter who likes to cook.
Now back to what was lost. The theme of the week is: in orer to redeem one must be able to assume. In other words if one wishes to save someone one must be able to become that which one wishes to redeem. this is the theme of "The Taming Of The Shress" and the theme of Liberation Theology. This is also a profound Jungian understanding-we become that which we seek to redeem and we must integrate shadow without being overwhe,med by shadow.
I was overwhelmed by shadow in my 30's because my perfectionist worldview did not allow shadow.
I now know that I was sttempting to cover-up the failure in too early maternity that led me to abandon my beautiful babies to their paternal grandparents. The greatest fear I had was my innate inferiority and when "she" finally appeared I simply surrendered to her and therefore destroyed my life-what Kimn referred to as wallowing the shadow. At least Saturn in the 4th prevented all out surrender to the destructive forces within-at least I now have a pension to supplement my SSA but I absolutely trashed my social identity by taking up with Roland and making drug and alcohol use an acknowledged part of me.
We are having curry tonight. Courtney will make chicken curry and I am making a quick chutney and kidney bean curry and raita. We will serve jasmine rice with it. courtney and I will cook-so much fun to have a grown-up granddaughter who likes to cook.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Tuesday 7/21/09
I am so excited-news is coming out about the"Family" in DC, a supposedly christian organization of which the men identified as being part have seemed so deeply unchristian in their beliefs and attitudes. Well it turns out that they are deeply facsistic have been working long and hard to support dictators and to sell weapons. I feel like dancing,dancing I tell you dancing. I have renounced christianity during this time of corporate christianity and megachurches and reverred christian leaders who are either upper middle -class or simply wealthy. My beloved Jesus and Mary and Dorothy Day and Cesar Chavez and Sister Prejean tossed aside by the greedy,graasping souls who call themselves Christian and demand that we believe that wealth is evidence that G-D is pleased with them.
More later-I need to take my shower now.
More later-I need to take my shower now.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Sunday 7/19/09
Yesterday was the most delightful afternoon in literally years. J Abel asked B parsons and I to go to see the all woman acting troupe "Woman's Will" perform "The Taming Of The Shrew". What wonderful powerful actors were these women. So good that I never minded that everyone was female. Petruchio played by El Beh-she was so "duded up" in her words that I was never uncomfortable. Everyone was wonderful and powerful and I laughed and meditated on the theme as presented: Petruchio will be "tamed" in "taming his delightful,wonderful, exciting shrew". the only time I was outside the spell these women wove was to think "and they memorized all these words so well that they can just sling them out".
after the performance-outside in John Henckle park amphitheater Judy offered to treat us to lunch/supper. We wanted to go to California Thai on SP Dam Rd but it was closed so we went to a Chinese resturant and were surprised to have stumbled on to a wonderful little place. The hot and sour sou was fresh as was everything. There was a feeling of humble pride in their establishment. HMMM! Can one say humble pride? but there it was-loved it. Plus we three women are all retired EW/SWs and from the news and indicators actually the end of a dying breed. We were hired and worked as people were still putting the flesh on the liberal ideas that flowered during Johnson's Great Society, the Civil Rights era. the fascists have done a pretty good job of convincing people that welfare doesn't work. It does but it does take money and the citizens have been convinced that welfare is the reason there is not enough to go around-there is rarely any mention of how much the military costs and people are continually fired up to be on alert for the evil monsters waiting just out of sight to kill them, rape their daughters and turn their boys into queers.
God I have been so lucky-always enough for education-enough to get me my job as an EW. I lack ambition just wanted to pay the bills and offer protection to my loved ones. I have always had medical coverage for any health issues. I have had wonderful friends who are bright and articulate and always there for me.
Saturn in the 4th ruler of the 9th-not much travel there so I have made my happiness at home
after the performance-outside in John Henckle park amphitheater Judy offered to treat us to lunch/supper. We wanted to go to California Thai on SP Dam Rd but it was closed so we went to a Chinese resturant and were surprised to have stumbled on to a wonderful little place. The hot and sour sou was fresh as was everything. There was a feeling of humble pride in their establishment. HMMM! Can one say humble pride? but there it was-loved it. Plus we three women are all retired EW/SWs and from the news and indicators actually the end of a dying breed. We were hired and worked as people were still putting the flesh on the liberal ideas that flowered during Johnson's Great Society, the Civil Rights era. the fascists have done a pretty good job of convincing people that welfare doesn't work. It does but it does take money and the citizens have been convinced that welfare is the reason there is not enough to go around-there is rarely any mention of how much the military costs and people are continually fired up to be on alert for the evil monsters waiting just out of sight to kill them, rape their daughters and turn their boys into queers.
God I have been so lucky-always enough for education-enough to get me my job as an EW. I lack ambition just wanted to pay the bills and offer protection to my loved ones. I have always had medical coverage for any health issues. I have had wonderful friends who are bright and articulate and always there for me.
Saturn in the 4th ruler of the 9th-not much travel there so I have made my happiness at home
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Saturday 7/18/09
So I am going to an acting troupe present Shakespere's Taming Of The Shrew. I believe that this is an all woman's group who are respected. The performance will be in the park-John Henkle Park. going with J and B-we make a wonderful group and I am looking forward to the winter and dinner parties and candle light and conversation with all of us plus others not yet seen. we had a wonderful christmas a few years back and I am hoping to repeat this. Good food, good conversation ,good spirits,good times.
Walter Cronkite passed away yesterday. A period is over the period of my parents of the WWll and the Cold War. How sad that the fascists won and took over all the media and now we only get what the corporations and the right wing want us to hear. Actually this is much more than sad it is tragic and disgusting that folks fall for this nationalism.
Of course there is still information available but one must look for it-no one like Walter Cronkite anywhere. No one to stand up and say that we are the aggressors and we should put on our hair shirts and throw ashes on ourselves. No one to tell us that we are wrong so wrong.
I am ashamed of so many of those in my group-the Boomers-selfish, immoral. The will to power squashes love and vise versa to paraphrase Jung. HMMM!1 I have the dread "will to power" in spades the Saturn/Moon/Pluto conjuction but The Dark Moon, Moses "other" wife at 12+Capricorn in the 9th-have learned to STOP and let the Univierse work through me and therefore transform my consciousness and help do my individual bit for evolution.
Walter Cronkite passed away yesterday. A period is over the period of my parents of the WWll and the Cold War. How sad that the fascists won and took over all the media and now we only get what the corporations and the right wing want us to hear. Actually this is much more than sad it is tragic and disgusting that folks fall for this nationalism.
Of course there is still information available but one must look for it-no one like Walter Cronkite anywhere. No one to stand up and say that we are the aggressors and we should put on our hair shirts and throw ashes on ourselves. No one to tell us that we are wrong so wrong.
I am ashamed of so many of those in my group-the Boomers-selfish, immoral. The will to power squashes love and vise versa to paraphrase Jung. HMMM!1 I have the dread "will to power" in spades the Saturn/Moon/Pluto conjuction but The Dark Moon, Moses "other" wife at 12+Capricorn in the 9th-have learned to STOP and let the Univierse work through me and therefore transform my consciousness and help do my individual bit for evolution.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Tuesdday 7/14/09
I no longer read because I can't relax long enough to read-years of working of accepting full responsibility has left me upptight. I need to practice some relaxation techniques and learn to let go-I fear laziness-fear that if I relax I will become lazy and then dementia will set in.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Monda 7/13/09-Sotomayor hearings
Listening to the Senators present themselves to Sotomayor-wonder what she will be like on the Supreme court. Still wishing for a couple of those white men to come down with withering and lingering diseases-may god have mercy on me.
Trimmed back the roses today and watered the plants-not worrying today about what others think (as if anyone but me is reading these words)S. is such a good coach He has confidence in spades as we say which is why he was able to preform so well on stage with his guitar and singing. I love him so he is truly my best friend.
Disgusted by photos of Jon minus Kate and the 8 on the Riviera-puke. I must say that he doesn't appear to be happy. I wish that they would get counseling and find some way to stay married and in love with each other until the children are raised. Both parents offer so much seems that they could figure out some way to understand each other. Of course they are still very young and they are living in a fish bowl. Kate needs to realize that he is a good man and that he probably needs to have his own work instead of living in her celebrity foot print. He needs to learn to speak up rather than seek out the company of women too young to fight back. the hildren need them both and not in some phony arranged thing. I can't believe that i am so caught up in this-I think that they represent the paternal archetypes that are so wounded now as we struggle to figure out how we live together now that the old ways are over. Took me years to settle with S. who doesn't appear to meet the qualifications but who is perfect for me. With S. people are confused by his Pisces rising and think that he is wishy-washy which he definately is not/
Trimmed back the roses today and watered the plants-not worrying today about what others think (as if anyone but me is reading these words)S. is such a good coach He has confidence in spades as we say which is why he was able to preform so well on stage with his guitar and singing. I love him so he is truly my best friend.
Disgusted by photos of Jon minus Kate and the 8 on the Riviera-puke. I must say that he doesn't appear to be happy. I wish that they would get counseling and find some way to stay married and in love with each other until the children are raised. Both parents offer so much seems that they could figure out some way to understand each other. Of course they are still very young and they are living in a fish bowl. Kate needs to realize that he is a good man and that he probably needs to have his own work instead of living in her celebrity foot print. He needs to learn to speak up rather than seek out the company of women too young to fight back. the hildren need them both and not in some phony arranged thing. I can't believe that i am so caught up in this-I think that they represent the paternal archetypes that are so wounded now as we struggle to figure out how we live together now that the old ways are over. Took me years to settle with S. who doesn't appear to meet the qualifications but who is perfect for me. With S. people are confused by his Pisces rising and think that he is wishy-washy which he definately is not/
Saturday, July 4, 2009
July the Fourth,2009
This is meant to be for my own independence. I want to write without shyness about entry into the third of the thirds of my life.
I noticed that I am restless and stormy inside because I have realized that this is it!! I am seriously entering my crone years. I found refuge from the demons of youth in my career as a welfare worker. the discipline was hard for me and I lacked the social awareness that would have helped me to be successful but I loved the work and I loved the identity.
I knew that it was time for me. I was a good worker/not perfect/reliable but I missed my peers and could not relate to the Uranus in Cancer kids and then from then on the kids born in the 60's and 70's and even at the end the 80's.
I couldn't get a transfer back to Hall St and 13th St out of the question. I would never have gone out to Antioch and the "phone bank".
So I retired and I still know that I was ready and there is enough money to make it work and there are issues inside that want to be seen and heard and I want to record this if I can get over the stink of narcissm-all my life paying attention to my subjective state and searching there for meaning within. As one would expect I guess when looking at my chart.
I noticed that I am restless and stormy inside because I have realized that this is it!! I am seriously entering my crone years. I found refuge from the demons of youth in my career as a welfare worker. the discipline was hard for me and I lacked the social awareness that would have helped me to be successful but I loved the work and I loved the identity.
I knew that it was time for me. I was a good worker/not perfect/reliable but I missed my peers and could not relate to the Uranus in Cancer kids and then from then on the kids born in the 60's and 70's and even at the end the 80's.
I couldn't get a transfer back to Hall St and 13th St out of the question. I would never have gone out to Antioch and the "phone bank".
So I retired and I still know that I was ready and there is enough money to make it work and there are issues inside that want to be seen and heard and I want to record this if I can get over the stink of narcissm-all my life paying attention to my subjective state and searching there for meaning within. As one would expect I guess when looking at my chart.
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